Riddle me this, ladies: if a guy messages you on an online dating site with 5’9” listed as his height, do you respond to him, or skip him?
Ima gonna venture out and guess that the majority of you would say, “Skip ‘em!” because you think 5’9” is too short.
I’m here to tell you why you should all stop this picky, selective behavior immediately, and it comes from my experience with Food Truck Boy #8: one of the cutest, most interesting, accomplished boys I’ve been out with on one of the best dates I’ve had in awhile. All with a, gasp, FIVE FOOT NINE man. I’ve discovered that Five Niners are the hidden gem of dating and not short at all, so listen up!
It’s no secret that girls squirm when it comes to dating short guys. I’ve had no less than 567,923 conversations with mah girlz about this… they want ‘em tall. And mostly because of a lot of reasons eHarmony nailed in their article titled “Why Do Women All Seem to Want Taller Men?” … Because taller guys have the *appearance* of being more masculine and more successful…
Perhaps this is why I too, until recently, wasn’t keen on the Five Niners of the world. I’ve received messages from cute guys on OKCupid, read through their entire profile and started feeling a little excited in the potential match, until BOOM – I see they’re 5’9.” Then it’s like one giant sinking ehhhhhhh, and I move on. I previously avoided Five Niners like boyfriends avoid “moving in” conversations – black like the plague.
At some point on my grreeeeat date with Grayzilla, he mentioned how he’d had terrible luck at online dating and was going to shutdown his profile because the girls he messaged rarely responded to him. At first I was genuinely confused when he said this because he is oh sooo cute. Why wouldn’t girls want to go on a date with him?! Then I realized why: it’s because he’s a Five Niner! I too almost dismissed Grayzilla because of his height, but thankfully I didn’t in the name of my “be less picky” mantra I’m sticking to for this 50 Dates project. And now I’m totally a “date Five Niners” convert.
Here’s the night that led to my new found Five Niner love:
Grayzilla and I agreed to meet at Off the Grid Upper Haight on a Thursday night, and because he mentioned in his OK Cupid profile that he liked live shows and dancing, I suggested checking out a show at Rickshaw Stop as a good “post date” plan for us. Even though neither of us had heard of the band, Grayzilla took the initiative to buy us tickets to the show, so I was impressed and glad he was just as willing as I was for a random, spontaneous night in the city. Ten points, Five Niner.
image // off the grid
When I met Grayzilla at a bar in the Upper Haight neighborhood before our date, I was surprised – he was actually cuter in person than he was in his OK Cupid pics. When does that ever happen?! NEVER. And guess what, Grayzilla didn’t seem “short” to me at all! He had a cute, fit body. (Masculine – check!) and my first reaction was actually: oh geezzz, he’s cuter than I am!
I decided to attempt to woo Grayzilla with my sparkling personality and conversational abilities and tried not to focus on how adorabler he was. Right away the two of us launched into a natural conversation that continued throughout the date without any awkward pauses or silly “interview questions” that you sometimes have to fall back on when there’s a lull in conversation – that’s hard to find when dating! I knew right away that at minimum, this was a guy I could be friends with.
As Grayzilla and I were waiting in line for our BEST DAMN BURRITO I’VE EVER HAD from Senor Sisig (review coming soon), he cut straight to the chase: he’s two months out of a six-year marriage, not looking to get serious with anyone, and just wants to meet new people. Touche, Grayzilla, touche. At first I was disappointed in case it turned out I ended up liking him, but since I’m in the middle of dating 50 guys, I assured him I wasn’t looking to get wifed up and we went along our merry food truck dating way…
Grayzilla and I devoured our burrito and decided to kill time before the show by playing my favorite game down Haight Street: One Drink, One Bar. This boy is a huge fan of craft beers (so much so that he “checks in” to a beer connoisseur app every time he drinks something and has something like 278 beers recorded). Ha! Impressive! Also impressive about him – he runs his own architecture firm in the Bay Area, which focuses on public schools and community buildings, and he’s super passionate about his job. (Successful – check!) We all know that architects are right up there with firemen – hot, hot and hotter. Grayzilla also has interesting hobbies too, which is a MUST on a list of things I look for a in a guy I date: he loves to snowboard, rock climb and sail, in addition to his love for music and dancing.
Can you say catch, girls? Catch, catch, catch and a half. One of the coolest, more impressive guys I’ve had a chance to spend time with in awhile (who’s also MASCULINE and SUCCESSFUL), and all wrapped up in his unassuming Five Niner stature that all of those silly ladies on OK Cupid are missing out on!
Well I was going to take full advantage of this night and not miss out on great company with a cute boy, so Grayzilla and I finished our craft beers at Magnolia Pub & Brewery, and then headed off to the show at Rickshaw Stop…
Rickshaw Stop is one of my favorite live music venues in the city. It has a cool upstairs with chaise lounges and seats overlooking the band if you don’t feel like squishing into the crowd. There’s even a skeeball machine! Grayzilla and I had tickets to see Light Asylum - a show I had suggested. I hadn’t heard of the band, but I listened to a few tracks and they sounded like a fun Euro-electronic vibe… little did I know! The room started to fill with people dressed in darkish vampire gear, and I started to get worried. And then the band went on and confirmed my worry – they were terrible! Horrible, weird music that sounded straight off soundtrack from the vampire movie, Blade. Grayzilla and I had a good laugh about it and awkwardly tried to bebop around to it for 15 minutes, but I have to admit, I was a little embarrassed! My Seattle music snobbery and good music taste were bruised.
Grayzilla didn’t seem to mind I chose a crappy band or that he’d wasted money on tickets, however, cause he put the moves on me when we were hanging out on the chaise lounge upstairs – public makeout city, U.S.A.! At least if the band is terrible, you can makeout on a chaise lounge at Rickshaw Stop! (A leopard print chaise lounge, even. Rawr!) 10 points for making a move, Five Niner.
Grayzilla and I ended our night with a couple more kisses – food truck date success! We’ve also made plans to see each other again after the Thanksgiving holiday. Per Grayzilla’s original confession on the whole divorce thing, the timing seems to be off for him and I right now, but I’d just like to see him again, if for nothing else because he’s a super cool guy. Just friendship might be in the cards for us, but I’m going to just go with the flow because this Five Niner impressed me!
SO ladies, if you’re not swayed by the fact that the Five Niners of the world that you’re rejecting could be adorable, MASCULINE, SUCCESSFUL and show you as great of a time as Grayzilla did me, then HowAboutWe.com gives you 7 Good Reasons to Date a Short Guy, and I’ve come up with 10 more reasons to add to the “Reasons to Date a Short Guy” list (with the help of one of my 5’8.75” male friend):
- Short guys have an easier time pants shopping and finding hot jeans! (Every girl loves a man in hot jeans)
- You’re never going to find a short guy bragging about how good at sports he is.
- Their stature is better for standup sex (shower, broom closet…)
- Short guys are better at hide ‘n seek because they can fit into better hiding places.
- Short guys can fit through the dog door in case there is a mass murderer and they have to escape in a quick and sneaky manor.
- If you want to chicken fight, you can take turns who’s on top or bottom with a short guy.
- Short guys are a more comfortable hug height and fit like puzzle pieces in your arms.
- You can fit a short guy in the overhead storage compartment on an airplane (no extra baggage fees!)
- Short guys are a better height to kick ass with at a three-legged race.
ANNNDDDD the #10 (10 being top) reason to date a short guy:
It’s easier to fit short guys in an upholstered seat in the back of a van across the border in Tijuana.
Happy Five Niner Dating, lovers! xo