I grabbed the strap above me on BART as the train shook and rumbled its way under the water from San Francisco to the East Bay. The after-work crowd swayed around me, holding their bikes, backpacks and Timbuk2 bags while bracing for every turn, their eyes closed and their body heat contributing to the smells of public transportation on a warm Bay Area day. The Most Interesting Man on the Planet held the strap next to me, and together the two of us precariously swayed our armpits back and forth as I tried to stay away from standing directly in his while we talked.
You want to kick off a date to an, um … interesting … start, meet your date outside the BART tunnel and have your first “getting to know each other” conversation while trying not to bump or sniff each other’s armpits. THIS is the stuff that true LOVE is based on. I know this cause it happened to me. Then I fell in love.
“So how have your other Food Truck Dates been?” he asked.
“Oh, it’s been pretty good so far,” I said. “I’ve met some really interesting people – a lot of guys who are super nice, and have pretty cool backgrounds or stories.”
I glanced over at him as I responded, to which I noticed he kinda rolled his eyes at my answer.
“Oh. That’s right – your profile said how much you hate the word interesting. Woopsie.”
Check. Check. Check. Check. Chhhheckkkkkk. Check.
(God damn, I'm amazing).
“What’s that about anyway. What’s wrong with the word interesting?”
“I just think it’s overused – it’s the least descriptive word to talk about something. What does interesting mean anyway?”
“Hmmm. Okay!” then I changed the subject even though really inside I was thinking, “What a WEIRRRDO.”
Eventually we got off BART at the Lake Merritt station and walked a couple blocks to Friday Nights at OMCA (Oakland Museum of California), a weekly food truck party from 5-9pm that started in January. This particular weekly food truck market in the Bay Area is family friendly, and features half price admission to the museum, live music, a DJ and dance parties, a cash bar, hands-on art workshops, local demos and samples of food and booze, and a variety of San Francisco’s best food trucks. If that doesn’t sound like FUN, I don’t know what does. In fact, it all sounds so INTERESTING. Like really, really interesting. Probably all of my interests crammed into one big G.D. interesting food truck party package.
We started out by grabbing drinks at the cash bar, which we realized couldn’t actually be taken out of the cash bar to walk around with, so were stuck guzzling our first drink before we did the loop to check out the food truck lineup. Some of the usual suspects were in attendance – Senor Sisig, Koja Kitchen (two of my top SF food trucks), FiveTen Burger…
We decided to eat at Streatery, a Bay Area food truck that describes themselves as “glorious peasant food” and features a little mix of made-from-scratch meals using locally sourced ingredients. Locally sourced interesting ingredients.
I ordered the oxtail and grits, and The Most Interesting Man on the Planet ordered Streatery’s roasted pork sandwich with chile oil on a housemade bun. [Review of Streatery coming separately].
We sat down with our food and tried to talk, but the music was blaring so loud throughout all the speakers, that we had to shout to hear each other, so decided to sit and eat near the “funk inspired dance lessons.” This was by far my favorite part of the date – a lot of people have talked about the diverse culture of Oakland and its intense feeling of community. I have never seen so many different ages, colors and sexes groovin with each other. From 85-year-olds to 2-year-olds – the energy was infectious. It.was.awesome.
After a few more beverages and attempts to shout over the music or walk where we could try to chat, I realized that while this Food Truck Boy sounded like quite literally The Most Interesting Man on the Planet when I read his online profile, he was most definitely the opposite of The Most Interesting Man on the Planet. Or really even that interesting at all. Which I feel terrible writing because he was really so very nice, and so very polite. Sorry dudeski! But, I felt like I spent the whole time talking (I talk too much already, but especially when I’m nervous and trying to fill a gap in easy-flowing conversation). I thought – how funny someone who is so focused on hating the word “interesting” and even went so far as to scoff at me when I described my other dates as interesting - couldn’t even really make me say so much for him.
While explaining this to a friend of mine after the date, he responded with, “Maybe he hates the word because it’s never been used to describe him.”
Let this be one of the number one lessons in online dating: you just can’t ever gauge how the chemistry will end up in person, no matter how “interesting” someone seems in their online dating profile.
The Most Interesting Man on the Planet walked me back to the BART station at the end of our date, where I felt it was getting to “I’m going to try to kiss you stage.” Who knows. Maybe he wasn’t interested in kissing me at all. Maybe he didn’t think I was interesting enough to kiss. Maybe he didn’t want to kiss me because I used the word interesting. Either way, I’m the most paranoid person the planet about first date kisses because I just don’t like ‘em! But while he was getting more quiet and more close, I started talking really fast about something and then randomly said, “NERVOUS” in place of a word that didn’t make any sense in my story, which then made me totally look like I was nervous to kiss him, and really retarded. So I shouted, “Thanks for the date!” and practically ran to catch BART.
MAN, I am NOT a smooth operator.
But, at least I’m interesting, dammit.
What do you think of his obsession with hating the word “interesting,” lovers? Do you share his opinion? What would you have said to him, if you were me?